My brother and I, have been very close and very good friends since childhood. Every afternoon after getting back from the school, we used to play all our favorite games. We used to play till late evening when our mom used to call us for dinner , and then it was time for sleep. All sorts of indoor and out door games. At times with other friends too, but most of the time it was just two of us because we used to live a bit far from the city. So not much of population lived around us. At least not many of our age.
We had build ourselves a small tent out of some old furniture and clothes. It was good to give us shade in the afternoon and a nice place to play. We had to rebuild it many times, coz as we grew taller and bigger, we needed bigger tents.
Our mom made delicious food for us.As we grew up, my brother, who was elder to me, started loosing interest in the games we played. He started to say, "what a stupidity this is?" He told me, "there is a big life in front of me and I want to become somebody in this life. I can no more waste time with your stupid games. Common now!! GROW UP."
Those words are etched in my mind. I stopped calling him to play.
He now lives in a far away land. Pursuing his purpose of life. Something inside me refuses to grow up. Something inside me still likes the play. There have been many other many kids near my house since my brother left. I tried to be friends with them. But they are no match to my brother. Nobody understands me as well as he did.
He pays me occasional visits. I wait for him to come. He tells me how stupid I am being, and I am just not ready to listen. He says that I will pay a heavy price for this. And I say I already am. He goes away, saying that if I ever want to get of of my tent, I should let him know and he will do me any help that he can. I thank him and remind myself of what a gem he is. He leaves and I say a wish in my heart that he be successful in whatever he has taken up. He gives me a call from his home, lets me know that he has reached safely, and again tells me to come out of my childishness. I just drop a tear and wish that he becomes a child again.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
The Sunshine in a backyard..
"Pyar ka pehla khat likhne me...waqt toh lagta he..."
"Gaanth agar lag jaye toh phir rishte ho ya dori....gehre zakhmon ko bharne me...waqt toh lagta he"...
I often wonder to myself...how much more time will it before i have finally written this love letter perfectly enought to please my beloved.Will it be a lifetime?Or many more?I ask my beloved to give an answer. And he says
"Pyar ka pehla khat likhne me...waqt toh lagta he..."
"Gaanth agar lag jaye toh phir rishte ho ya dori....gehre zakhmon ko bharne me...waqt toh lagta he"...
He says, If you wish to be my admirer,
Wait till it becomes stronger..
If you wish to be best of friends,
Wait till it becomes purer,
If you wish to be my Love,
Wait till "you" does not exist anymore,
Wait till these entanglements..are shunned with the house you live in now,
Wait till the pain of your wounds has been relieved,
Wait till you are ready to forget the sunshine in your backyard,
Wait till you have made peace with the fact,that darkness is the real light,
And here I wait...for the day to come, when i have finally written the perfect letter. I don't have o play with the words in it, neither is any poetry going to do a magic. I am going to wait till the words are silenced.
"Gaanth agar lag jaye toh phir rishte ho ya dori....gehre zakhmon ko bharne me...waqt toh lagta he"...
I often wonder to myself...how much more time will it before i have finally written this love letter perfectly enought to please my beloved.Will it be a lifetime?Or many more?I ask my beloved to give an answer. And he says
"Pyar ka pehla khat likhne me...waqt toh lagta he..."
"Gaanth agar lag jaye toh phir rishte ho ya dori....gehre zakhmon ko bharne me...waqt toh lagta he"...
He says, If you wish to be my admirer,
Wait till it becomes stronger..
If you wish to be best of friends,
Wait till it becomes purer,
If you wish to be my Love,
Wait till "you" does not exist anymore,
Wait till these entanglements..are shunned with the house you live in now,
Wait till the pain of your wounds has been relieved,
Wait till you are ready to forget the sunshine in your backyard,
Wait till you have made peace with the fact,that darkness is the real light,
And here I wait...for the day to come, when i have finally written the perfect letter. I don't have o play with the words in it, neither is any poetry going to do a magic. I am going to wait till the words are silenced.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Hazaron Khwahishein Aisi...
Hazaron khwahisein aisi...ke har khwahish pe dum nikale...bahut nikale mere armaan, lekin phir bhi kam nikale....
To the many fold meanings this deep couplet by Ghalib , though the meaning seems very obvious, how easily we fail to forget and ignore such a truth of life?
Thousands of my real big desires have been fulfilled, yet i am not satisfied...still i think i don't have enough!!!
Is it our ignorance?? is it our greed?? I don't think it is any of these.
"Desire", which we have always learnt (in the bookish snese) to be pulling us back from eternal appiness."Desire" which we have thought to be the root cause of all our problems."Desire" which we think is never ending. "Desire" might actually be our way to ultimate freedom!!!
To express in a nutshell, our "Desires" are only external manifestations of our inner self to be free.But, then...there is the "catch". Every desire we have, is just an attempt to touch the higher, to feel the greater freedom...its is just an "attempt". it is just like a shot taken in the dark.In most cases it does not hit the target.In most cases, we are just left with the pain and disappointment of missing the target. And in this state of pain, we start firing more and more shots, again in the dark..Which lead to more disappointments. And that is how we get into the vicious trap of never ending desires.Also, our spirit inside keeps a log of all the disappointments, pain, anger, resentment which it gets through the "missing taget", not to forget the thrill,fun and different experiences(both good and bad) which the spirit gains during the desire fulfillments.This log is what becomes our "karma" which we carry though lifetimes.
So it all boils down to something like a graph problem in one sense.Our spirit wants to find its route to the destination in the shortest way.So instead of trying brute force for all the paths, ideally it should give time to itself, analyze the maze in which it is stuck, and patiently work its way throug it with guidance. This whole method is nothing but the "Sadhana" we ought to do.And the guidance is the 'Divine Grace'...
To the many fold meanings this deep couplet by Ghalib , though the meaning seems very obvious, how easily we fail to forget and ignore such a truth of life?
Thousands of my real big desires have been fulfilled, yet i am not satisfied...still i think i don't have enough!!!
Is it our ignorance?? is it our greed?? I don't think it is any of these.
"Desire", which we have always learnt (in the bookish snese) to be pulling us back from eternal appiness."Desire" which we have thought to be the root cause of all our problems."Desire" which we think is never ending. "Desire" might actually be our way to ultimate freedom!!!
To express in a nutshell, our "Desires" are only external manifestations of our inner self to be free.But, then...there is the "catch". Every desire we have, is just an attempt to touch the higher, to feel the greater freedom...its is just an "attempt". it is just like a shot taken in the dark.In most cases it does not hit the target.In most cases, we are just left with the pain and disappointment of missing the target. And in this state of pain, we start firing more and more shots, again in the dark..Which lead to more disappointments. And that is how we get into the vicious trap of never ending desires.Also, our spirit inside keeps a log of all the disappointments, pain, anger, resentment which it gets through the "missing taget", not to forget the thrill,fun and different experiences(both good and bad) which the spirit gains during the desire fulfillments.This log is what becomes our "karma" which we carry though lifetimes.
So it all boils down to something like a graph problem in one sense.Our spirit wants to find its route to the destination in the shortest way.So instead of trying brute force for all the paths, ideally it should give time to itself, analyze the maze in which it is stuck, and patiently work its way throug it with guidance. This whole method is nothing but the "Sadhana" we ought to do.And the guidance is the 'Divine Grace'...
Thursday, February 5, 2009
The Journey.....as it goes..
Disappointment....
This is the second step in the journey. Not achieving what we expect to achieve or in most of the cases people not giving us back what we expect them to..now the question is why is disappointment is a crucial step ? Well...because Failure and disappointment might act as very important tools to kill our greater enemy and, ironically, the reason of our existence too...our ego.
This is the second step in the journey. Not achieving what we expect to achieve or in most of the cases people not giving us back what we expect them to..now the question is why is disappointment is a crucial step ? Well...because Failure and disappointment might act as very important tools to kill our greater enemy and, ironically, the reason of our existence too...our ego.
The Journey
Failures...Failure...is the first step of a journey!!! weird??? Well...when the journey is cross galaxies and universes..then every step is going to be like never before. OOh!!! am i talking about space craft journeys and alien worlds??? i think not. This is the journey from being a weak human to realizing being a super human!!So...such a journey many a times, begins with Failures. Failure to be a human. ironic; isn't it?? i don't know how many of people reading this blog have experienced the failure to be human, do leave a comment if some one has.Failure to be a perfect human;which we inherently want to become might make the first step to becoming a "Non-Human"
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